What my mom taught me about money

For better or worse, our primary caregivers - in most cases, our mothers - influence our beliefs and views about money. These key role models play a crucial part in shaping our understanding of financial management, and pass on their money-related habits, whether good or bad.

We spoke with four savvy South African women about the money lessons they’ve learnt from their moms.

Tip: A good savings vehicle helps you to set aside money for your children’s future.

Early money messages

Mothers are often our first teachers, says Adele Barnard, senior financial planner and investment specialist at Sanlam. As youngsters, we watch our moms shopping and paying bills, and this may shape our attitudes towards household finances.

“When I was young, my mother would buy me something small for Christmas, telling me I’d receive more gifts later, when items were marked down on sale,” Barnard recalls.

“She opened an account for me at Standard Bank when I was young, and I received a Powerpuff Girls bank card. I think that’s where my love for money matters started!”

Not everyone is fortunate enough to learn good financial stewardship from their mother, however.

“I am careful with money today because my mother was extravagant, always going out for lunch or buying home décor,” says marketing communications manager Julia Michaels. “When she died, there wasn’t enough money saved for her funeral, so I had to dip into my savings.”

While budget blowouts are often problematic, excessive frugality can also be harmful. Data analyst June Mkhize says her mother saved every penny, to the extent that there were seldom any treats for her and her siblings.

“My mother taught me that money is scarce, which made me think of it as a finite resource,” she says. “To this day, I struggle to believe I’ll have enough.”

For Faridah Black, a veterinary assistant, the most important lesson was that you don’t need a big bank balance to have what matters.

“My mum taught me to be rich in experiences, because the stresses that come with excessive wealth may taint the joy of really living,” she says.

“She was always smartly dressed, though her stylish apparel came from a local second-hand charity store, and her ‘Free State Ferrari’ was an old Nissan EXA that took her on as many adventures as its grand cousin, at a fraction of the cost.

“She taught me to have more gratitude for what I possess than desire for what is out of reach.”

Resourcefulness and resilience

Learning financial wisdom from our mothers can be a practical way to develop good financial habits, says psychologist Quinton Williams.

Although not all mothers make good financial choices, most lead by example through their resourcefulness and resilience.

“Women who make positive adaptations to significant adversity, such as those who sell fruit and vegetables by the side of the road, in all weathers, to feed, clothe, and educate their children, exemplify the concept of hardiness-resilience,” says Williams.

“This is a trait that combines commitment, control, and the ability to rise to the challenge during hardships.”

Williams says mothers tend to be frugal as they have learned how to live within their means, employing budgeting tricks such as shopping for bargains, finding and using coupons, and making homemade meals.

“Success with money comes down to sacrifice - giving up something now so life can be better in the future,” Williams says.

Most mothers have the necessary patience and discipline to impart good financial advice. However, if your mother wasn’t the best role model, she may have received some negative messages about money growing up.

“I think our moms do the best they can with the info they have,” says Barnard. “After all, being a mother is a full-time job, without pay.

“Most mums make the most of the money they have to ensure a better life for their children,” she concludes.

Tip: Invest in your family’s future with an interest-bearing savings or investment account.